Today I told my therapist that I couldn't stop thinking about Robin Williams. As one blogger put it, when "one of us" succumbs to the depression, it affects all of us. I'm paraphrasing. The point is that this news, that someone with money and success, would be living so far down inside the hole that he opted out, brought me back to months ago when I was on suicide watch. I thought about the darkest days and how it didn't seem like they would ever end, crying all the time and unable to function.
I'm better now. My therapist pointed out that I'm "high functioning" and that I can live a normal life if I just keep taking the meds. But I keep waiting for the meds to stop working, waiting for another psychotic episode -- I can't relax. This Robin Williams news hit me really hard. I feel like if someone with money and success couldn't beat depression that there is no chance for the rest of us.
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